Why the Next Bond Should Be a Woman

If we have learned anything in this post Wonder Woman (which has currently brought in a whopping $233,826,730) world it’s the simple fact that women kick ass! Many people doubted that female lead franchises could survive this world after Ghostbusters (2016) didn’t do too well at the box office. However, one thing set Wonder Woman apart: it was directed by a woman. The biggest problem with Ghostbusters was that Paul Feig (as funny as he is) is not a woman. Despite being rather effeminate, Paul does not understand what it is to be a woman. I will restate myself: women kick ass! Thus, I would like to present to you a simple idea: James Bond (or as she shall be referred to throughout this article, Jane Bond) should be portrayed by a woman in the 26th film.

Having a female Bond would be extraordinarily empowering to many women and young girls. After seeing Wonder Woman, my wife and my mother were both ecstatic to see a woman performing such amazing feats. This is what we should expect from Hollywood, not another Jason Statham beatdown. The very idea of a female spy has been used well many times before with wonderful characters like Black Widow, Evelyn Salt, and Maggie from Point of No Return; however, it looks like the patriarchy doesn’t want to fully commit to the idea of a female lead spy movie unless it’s a comedy (see Paul Feig’s Spy).

Think about it for a minute, what does James Bond do that Jane Bond couldn’t do better? He manages to seduce women, but for what purpose? He doesn’t gain anything from sleeping with all of these women (outside of a few date rape cases). Jane Bond would easily extract information from the men she seduces. James Bond isn’t particularly skilled in hand to hand combat, he mostly uses silly gadgets (see Shark Inflating Pellet gun). Jane Bond could also have gadgets and they would be easier to hide in plain sight (think the cat-burglars from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). Jane Bond would also easily think on her feet, as opposed to James who is always getting captured.

I would now like to suggest something a bit unorthodox. I know that the idea of getting a Jane Bond would be a difficult task, but I would also like to suggest we bring in a female director. The men who have helmed the last few Bond films have fallen into the trap of shaky camera during fight scenes, poorly choreographed fights, and poorly paced scenes. I think bringing in Patty Jenkins or Kathryn Bigelow would dramatically help the series. What are your thoughts? Feel free to comment below.

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Jack Burton

I enjoy biking, archery, and hanging with my friends. I really like music, movies and video games. I'm pro-gender/lgbt equality; if you're the opposite, don't waste my time.