And Amazon Kindle Wins the Grand National

Just before the Running of the Cheltenham Gold Cup I was listening to a radio broadcast in which the listeners had been challenged to think of the most hilarious names you could give a race horse.

And Amazon

The idea was to imagine the race commentator having to call these names as the competitors charged to the finish.

There were some quite brilliant suggestions, many of which would never be allowed because they were too rude, but my favourite suggestion was definitely “Two Men in a Suit”.

This really made me laugh and got me thinking about horse names in general.

I didn’t know what the naming regulations were but I thought I should find out as it seemed to me that there was an excellent opportunity here just waiting to be exploited.

The Rules

It turns out that the British Horse Racing Authority’s naming rules are quite simple.

The name must be one which is not already registered, it must be no more than 18 characters or 7 syllables long and it must not be obscene or offensive.

What is most interesting is that the name can be that of a famous person or an organisation or product with the agreement of the person or company concerned.

This is where I am a little confused as there is surely an amazing commercial opportunity here which is being ignored.


We live in a world where brands are promoted in every conceivable way.

It is impossible to escape the perpetual onslaught of advertisements, product placements, sponsorships and celebrity endorsements which now dominate our lives.

Just take a football match as an example.

The television broadcast will be punctuated by commercials, sponsors names will be displayed, the pitch will be surrounded by advertising hoardings, the stadium and the players’ shirts will be sponsored and so it goes on.

I thought every possibility for product promotion had been explored but perhaps not. Why are horses not named for commercial advantage too?

Great Names

I think horse naming could be the next form of product endorsement.

Not only would companies get the benefit of their brands being shouted out over and over again and published all over the media but there are endless possibilities for hilarity too.

Imagine a commentator calling a close finish between Durex Pleasuremax and Walls Sausages and shouting “and Walls Sausages are coming” or the Irony of a Gold Cup Winner called Tesco’s Burgers!

I love this idea and think it is one which could really take off providing the broadcasters could manage to call the races without dissolving into hysterics.

The Future

Perhaps the commercial naming of horses could be with us at some point in the future.

I doubt if I am going to watch Hugo Boss Watch win the Derby any time soon but there are possibilities for Carlsberg Lager which, after all, is probably the best horse in the World.

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Sally Stacey is a keen blogger who loves the Grand National and can’t wait for some more interesting horse names to appear!