by Sandra Baker
Women confess that post-hookup regrets are far too common. Find out how the casual dating experience can be overwhelmingly positive and decide if you are ready to treat hookups as a pleasurable interaction.
Sometimes everything happens so quickly: you met, stopped in a cozy café for a cup of coffee, took a walk, the walk went on … And you found yourself in someone else’s bed. You gather your patience and try to figure out what you’re doing next to a man whose existence you never knew of a day ago and stupid questions start swarming in your mind … What am I doing here? What would he think? Why did I agree? Today I am speaking mostly to ladies, because women tend to feel shame, sadness, disappointment, anger and guilt after one-night stands more often than men do.
Love at First Sight
This happens not only in romance novels: you fall in love and have lost your head. His looks, voice and gentle touches have stroked your heart… Leaving him seems impossible, and you dutifully follow your beloved one straight to his passionate embrace. In such cases women often do not regret or doubt their own behaviour. The only question can disturb them is: “Does he love me as much as I love him?” So, when you start to see the first signs of falling in love, try to find out more about your potential match and get the answers to all your questions. For example, is he married? Or is he just passing by? Don’t forget to ask about his work, education and his attitude towards you. Getting to know someone you are so interested in will help you avoid disappointment later.
Sex
You can often watch such situations in movies. A pretty girl flirts with a seductive young man, and after the second glass of wine she asks him to join her back at her place. Not everyone dares to do this in reality, but if it does happen, don’t torture yourself and stop looking for more or less tolerable reasons to explain your thoughtless behaviour. Your desire is a good reason and a decent explanation for why you stayed with him.
Boredom
If your life becomes monotonous and you can’t help but feel suppressed, like you’re caught in a locked room, flirting can be a great boredom-buster and an excellent way of bringing excitement back into your life. So, you consciously began to flirt, finally found yourself in his arms, and felt a long-sought thrill. No harm has been done – you’ve got the spark you’ve been looking so far, and you feel beautiful and desirable.
Loneliness
“Maybe he is that special someone? Anyway, I’m not dating anyone so I’m totally free”, you say, weighing up the pros & cons of casual sex. So you got hot with your last date really fast, huh? Well, before you start regretting this steamy date, listen up: experts say that casual encounters can lead to serious relationships, and it’s becoming increasingly common. In fact, one night is not a guarantee of marriage, but it may be the beginning of something really special. Even if your plans for a happy life with this man remain just dreams, remember that casual dating is like testing the water, and a real way of meeting that special someone.
Ladies, my encouragement to you will be to reveal your sexuality in ways that don’t make you feel vulnerable. Meet, flirt, have fun and enjoy dates in ways that will make you feel good and 100% comfortable, but never neglect safety. Only you can decide if casual encounters are right for you.
Sandra Baker is a dating adviser, psychologist and content writer for Wildbuddies.com. With years of experience in the dating field, she knows how to help singles meet their soulmates and find a date online.